CONSIDERATIONS FOR FINDING THE “RIGHT  FIT” WITH    A COUNSELLOR  

Counselling can be focused in many different areas. It’s important to consider the area(s) of focus that you want support with and then find a counsellor that has training and experience supporting people in that/those area(s) e.g., anxiety, depression, stress, addictions, life transitions, grief and loss, self-esteem, relationship issues, trauma.

There are several things to consider: availability of the counsellor compared to your schedule e.g., daytime, evening, weekend; mode of sessions e.g., in-person, on-line; language of the session if you need a language other than English.

Counsellors work with different clientele. It’s important to find a counsellor that has experience working with the clientele that you identify with that is relevant for the purpose of counselling. Age may be relevant e.g., child, adolescent, adult, senior. Grouping may be relevant e.g., individual, couple, family. Intersectional identification may be relevant e.g., new immigrants, LBGTQ.

We all have a different way of relating to others. While all counsellors understand the importance of positive regard, rapport and relating with empathy, there are many other variabilities in how they relate that may or may not feel like a fit. It’s important to find someone that you feel relatively comfortable with. This does not mean there is no discomfort since counselling inevitably invites us to explore some hard and often messy places. But are we comfortable even in the discomfort because the counsellor’s presence and way of interacting feels safe: there is a space that allows us to be forthcoming even when we are feeling vulnerable; there is openness to what they are saying and asking; there is an invitation for our feedback and willing to adjust to meet our needs. 

Costs compared to your financial resources is an important consideration e.g., session costs, sliding scales, benefit plans.

There are hundreds of different theoretical orientations and treatment modalities. So many, that it can be very confusing to sort through.

• A theoretical orientation is essentially a way to see and understand the “issue” that informs how to approach shifting that issue. For example, one theoretical orientation might see an “issue” as primarily rooted in an individual’s thoughts, another in their emotions, another in how the individual is constructing their reality, yet another as a reflection of the dynamics happening between people, or as a response to the social structures in society.
• A treatment modality is essentially a particular solution to the “issue” stemming from the theoretical orientation.

Different counsellors and different approaches have different intentions or goals relative to the “issue(s)”. Some approaches like Gestalt therapy are heavily focused on exploring. Some approaches are focused on helping the client manage an issue e.g., strategies to deal with anxiety. Some approaches are solution focused. They are forward looking and don’t spend much if any time dealing with the past or what may be contributing. They believe making consistent change in a different direction in and of itself starts to solve the issue. Other therapies are focused on skill development. And some are focused on processing and recovery. They generally involve more sessions because they take the time to figure out and shift the underlying issues.

Different counsellors and different approaches have more or less consideration for the larger context that may have contributed or may be influencing the “issue” e.g., intersectionality and social location, racism, inter-generational trauma, bullying in the workplace. If your situation involves larger context, you want to make sure to find a counsellor that works in a way that not only considers this additional complexity but can weave it into the therapeutic process.

Empowerment is the process of becoming more capable and more confident, especially in taking responsibility for, controlling and influences one’s life and claiming one’s rights. While almost all approaches lead to some empowerment, different approaches place much more emphasis on it. Some approaches outline the goals and steps of therapy. Other approaches regard the client as having their own knowledge, wisdom and solutions and the counselling process seeks to facilitate this unfolding.

Different counsellors and different approaches relate to wholeness differently so it’s important to give some thought to whether or not wholeness is relevant for you. Wholeness can mean a few different things. It can mean wanting to be less fragmented and more whole. Some approaches to therapy have this as a focus e.g., Internal Family Systems as do many approaches to complex trauma recovery. It can mean wanting to ensure that important aspects of your identity are valued and reflected in the therapeutic exchange regarding things like spirituality or culture. And it can also mean wanting to make sure that other potentially contributing things are explored as part of counselling e.g., sleep patterns, eating habits etc.