STRUGGLE
The Hard Truth about the Struggle and Stakes of having Toxic Stress, Trauma or Complex Trauma.
Problem, Possibility and Probability
It’s HARD to:
- live with and be trapped inside the Many Symptoms of Toxic Stress, Trauma or Complex Trauma wanting to be and do things differently, not knowing how or not being able to despite our best intentions or efforts.
- experience the negative impact that Toxic Stress, Trauma or Complex Trauma have on the different areas of of our lives whether parenting, intimate relationships, friendships, work, finances etc.
- know that we are impacting the whole and not living into our potential because we are struggling or stuck with the Many Symptoms of Toxic Stress, Trauma or Complex Trauma.
Its POSSIBLE, even PROBABLE to:
- transform through and to the other side of Toxic Stress, Trauma or Complex Trauma with recognition, resources and counselling support.
- achieve regulation, recovery, resilience, and restored relationships (with self and others).
Symptoms of Toxic Stress and Trauma
The TABLE (below) shows the increasing symptoms and effects that are typically part of Toxic Stress, Post Traumatic Stress and Complex Trauma.
Of course, each individual’s story and circumstances are different and impact what is involved.
Generally, there is both an inclusion and progression of symptoms with each level of severity.
TOXIC STRESS SYMPTOMS
- prolonged and heightened stress response activation e,g, routinely or persistently stressed out.
- arousal and reactivity symptoms e.g., “on guard”, hypervigilant, jumpy, on alert, easily startled, repeating things to help yourself feel better, quick to anger, irritable, outbursts, aggressiveness, extreme worry and anxiety, impulsivity with words, decisions, actions,
- thinking problems e.g., poor memory, focus, concentration, rigid thinking.
- numbing, suppression and shut down symptoms.
- nervous system dysregulation and narrowed window of tolerance e.g., unable to settle or feel calm, quick to anger, easily overwhelmed.
- overwhelm and inability to cope and maintain healthy functioning.
- trouble falling or staying asleep.
- fatigue and exhaustion.
- digestion problems. (bloating, constipation, irritable bowel etc.)
POST TRAUMATIC STRESS SYMPTOMS
includes Toxic Stress Symptoms plus these items.
- intrusive symptoms e.g., distressing memories. flashbacks, triggering and sudden changes of state, recurring memories of painful experiences, upsetting or disturbing dreams,
- avoidance symptoms e.g., avoiding painful memories, thoughts, feelings, external reminders, dealing with problems and difficult parts of life, difficulty tolerating painful things
- escape, fantasy or addictive tendencies e.g., overworking, substances, food, gambling, gaming, pornography, shopping, sleep, devices/social media etc.
- dissociative symptoms e.g., feeling out of body, missing time.
- emotion regulation difficulties.
- assessing the “safety” of people/situations differently than most others.
- survival based emotional learning and belief systems e.g., “I’m not safe”, “It’s all my fault”, “No one can be trusted”.
- sadness, and unrecognized and unprocessed grief and loss.
- moral and spiritual questioning and distress.
- struggles to acknowledge and or come to terms with betrayals, unfairness and injustice.
COMPLEX TRAUMA SYMPTOMS
includes Toxic Stress Symptoms plus Post Traumatic Stress Symptoms plus these items.
- betrayal blindness around the various kinds of harms one has experienced and their impact.
- survival based trauma adaptations e.g., people pleasing, entitlement, caretaking, aggression. self-abandonment.
- issues with coherent identity, sense of self. feeling fragmented, splitting
- alterations in attention/consciousness e.g., difficulty concentrating, fantasy seeking, compartmentalizing, structural dissociation.
- negative self-concept and/or sense of shame that shows up in self-criticism, perfectionism, self-destructiveness, underachieving, avoiding mistakes or accountability, feeling bad when something good happens,
- stimulation seeking and excessive risk taking.
- compromised mind-body and mind-spirit relationship.
- abstinence and denying self of basic needs e.g., food, heat, as well as play, comfort and occasional luxuries
- impaired attachment compromising the development of healthy, reciprocal relationships e.g., anxious seeking excessive closeness and reassurance, avoidant of vulnerability, commitment and connection; disorganized between anxious and avoidant, trauma bonding and stayed committed to harmful others.
- learned helplessness, poor efficacy and low empowerment.
- self-harm and/or suicidal thoughts, plans, attempts.
- addictions and other means of managing internal distress.
- repeating and reenacting harmful relationships, patterns, behaviors.
- presence of somatic distress/somatization of illness, chronic illnesses and pain conditions e.g., migraines, GI problems, autoimmune disorders, chronic fatigue, obesity, heart disease etc.
Reasons to Choose Recovery
Recovering from toxic stress, trauma and complex trauma is not an easy thing to do. The more involved our symptoms the longer and harder it is. Many of us, just keep surviving and calling it life, or we may not recognize that recovery is possible.
It’s important to see how high the stakes are and really consider the likely consequences to ourselves, our relationships and our lives now and in the future. when they find a reason or reasons that are compelling enough that they lean in.
There are BIG CONSEQUENCES for not Recognizing Toxic Stress, Trauma or Complex Trauma and then Reaching for Recovery.
- You’ll Continue experiencing the Symptoms of Toxic Stress and Trauma and Vicious Cycles of those symptoms. (see Symptoms Table).
- You’ll Continue Living What is a Really Hard way to Live because Stress Related Conditions and Trauma Use Up a lot of Energy and Effort just to get through the day with little left for anything else.
- You’ll Continue Experiencing the Far-Reaching Fall Out of Toxic Stress and Trauma.
- You’ll Continue being rooted in Dysregulation, Distress, and Defenses never quite being able to reach calm, connection and capability for any length of time.
- You’ll Continue Having Your Growth and Development Thwarted because Toxic Stress and Trauma Impede the Unfolding of Potential.
- You’ll Continue being Exposed to the Internal Neurobiological Kindling Process of stress activation that happens with Toxic Stress and Trauma that contributes to Many Health Issues.
- You’ll Continue Living Disconnected from Your SELF because Toxic Stress and Trauma fragment the self.
- You’ll Continue to be Tethered to Painful Experiences from the Past and their Emotional Learning reliving, repeating and replaying it like an overlay on present-day experiences.
- You’ll likely Contribute (without meaning to) to the Continuation of Cycles of Stress and Trauma either by being victimized or unintentionally victimizing others.
- You’ll Continue being Compromised in how you Show Up for the Most Important Relationships as a parent, partner and friend.
- You’ll Continue experiencing the Collateral Consequences of Toxic Stress and Trauma(s) in Many Areas of your Life whether its issues your health, at work, with finances. This includes being compromised as you try and make a larger impact in your life or the world.
There are BIG BENEFITS for Recognizing Toxic Stress, Trauma or Complex Trauma and then Reaching for Recovery.
- You’ll Learn to Free Yourself from the Far-Reaching Effects of Toxic Stress and/or Trauma.
- You’ll be Supported to See and Understand What’s Happened, How It Affected You and to Respond in a way that Leads to Processing, Integrating and Moving Forward.
- You’ll slowly and continually Free Up all of the energy and effort that living with Stress Related Conditions and Trauma takes. You’ll have that extra energy and effort for other important things.
- You’ll Reconnect With and Learn to engage from SELF more easily and consistently.
- You’ll Restart the Growth and Development Process that moves you toward your potential.
- You’ll Slow Down the Health Impacts of the Internal Neurobiological Kindling Process of stress activation and Potentially Even Start to Reverse Them.
- You’ll Break the Vicious Symptom Cycles and Start Moving Forward Again.
- You’ll Face and Grieve pain from the past, reconsolidate outdated emotional learnings so you can Move Fully into the Present and Look Toward the Future.
- You’ll Break the Long-Lasting and often Recurring Patterns of toxic stress and trauma that repeat over a lifetime and often over generations.
- You’ll Restore your Relational Ability to Engage in Healthy Ways as a Parent, Partner and Friend.
- You’ll Halt the Collateral Consequence of Toxic Stress and Trauma(s) in the many areas of your life and Develop the Internal Resources to bring these Areas back to Stability and May even Start to Level Up your Impact in the world.
- You’ll Gain Post-Traumatic Growth such as Increased Compassion, Meaning, Presence, Wisdom, and Resilience.
